matzoballer:

your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey tell your mom i said hi

(via oomshi)

internetdouchebag:

i dont like the windows at my school b/c theyre too small to jump out of

(via egberts)

esexist:

i just got called a faggot by a group of 6th graders wearing polos

(via egberts)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were posting back there? i’m going to have to give you a ticket

(Source: broadway-aradia, via josheeta)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

please allow 5-7 business days before i hand in my homework that was due last monday

(via fuckyeahyummyyfoods)

mediaite:

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Asks Atheist Tornado Survivor If She ‘Thanked The Lord’

(via serjorahmormont)

(via davidasaur)

mskneesocks:

you’re the only one who understands me google

(via davidasaur)

michaelloveskoala:

thelostsandal:

Passion Pit at The Hangout Music Festival

oh god the first pic

ruinscape:

sometimes i see a boy and think “wow he’s hot” and then go on with my day as usual

but other times i see a boy and think “wow he’s hot” and then fantasize about him for like a week straight

(via circumcisions)

dranoparty:

for christmas my mom got me a shirt with something i said to her when i was really hungover once on it.

(via silenthill)

googlepirate:

keeping the streets safe

(Source: tibets, via rabioheab)

(Source: ezramichaelkoenig, via spacecamps)